More Thoughts of an Extremely Insecure, Single Man

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Discussing Girls With Your More Attractive Friend:

“Yeah, I’m gonna ask *insert your love interest’s name* out on a date later this week,” my friend casually tells me, unaware that his words were as bullets made of knives as they tore through my soul. I don’t have the gumption to tell him that I’m interested in her.*Tells friend to go for it*. I have so much hate for this situation. All the hate is dedicated to this right here. Oh well. It’s for the best I’m sure. Just please don’t ask me for advice on how to approach this. *Friend on asks for advice on the very thing you were desperately hoping he wouldn’t ask for*. SONNOVA B%$&#! *Gives friend advice*. Well. It looks like it’s time to return to my pit of self pity. I just hope she doesn’t ask me about him. Continue reading

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The Ridiculous Courtship Habits of an ENFP

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Myers Briggs is a vastly popular personality test. You answer a series of questions and you are given a combination of four letters. Mine, as you might have surmised from the title, are ENFP. These stand for extrovert, intuitive, feeling, and prospecting. I am the human equivalent of a train wreck when it comes to pursuing women. I’m the human equivalent of two train wrecks happening simultaneously and both trains are carrying gun powder and blast resistant snakes when it comes to actually carrying on a relationship. This is partly because of the shortcomings that come with being and ENFP; this is also because I’m me and I’m bad at stuff. But we’ll break this down piece by piece. Let me try to explain the mad dance/ seizure-esq emotional convulsions that are the courtship of an ENFP.  Continue reading

What’s Going Through My Head When I Run

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Before starting:

Okkkk. First run in about 4 months. This is going to be great. Going to get back in shape and start living healthier. Just going to start my awesome workout playlist and timer. I should invest in a GPS watch to track my distance and pace since I’m going to be making this such a big part of my life now.

Quarter mile in:

I don’t know why I ever stopped running! This is great! Got my music going and it’s not too hot.

3/4 mile in:

Ok I’m getting a little tired now. But only about two more miles to go. I got this. Just going to keep blaring my music and breathing and I’ll be fine.

End of mile 1:

For not having done this in a while, I killed that first mile. I’m a little winded, but I can two more miles of this no problem.

1.25 miles in:

I appear to have hit a wall. My spirit must remain indomitable in this trying time. Continue reading